Joke Day

So looking at various different blogs, I noticed that they all have different themes for days of the week. They give them weird names like Montage Monday (I have no idea, either), or Wordless Wednesday (pictures only?), Tipsy Tuesday (need I say more?) - ok, so not so much on that last one. But I decided that I liked the idea, just perhaps without the alliteration. So I am going to start with a joke day, because, well, I like to laugh and I like making others laugh. So these jokes might be one liners, they might be lists of funny things (like today's), or longer jokes, they might be racy, they might not. I will aim for the clean ones every chance I get, but sometimes naughty is funny. They might be ones forwarded to me in an email that I thought were just too good to pass up. And if YOU have any, please let me know and I'll add it. I was thinking of using Wednesday as joke day, to help get people through the week, but the list I found was just too funny to wait, so I'll do one today and then another on Wednesday.

Enjoy!

Funny Foreign English Phrases
1. Cocktail lounge, Norway:LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

2. At a Budapest zoo:PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

3. Doctor's office in Rome:SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

4. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner. Japan:COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

5. In a Nairobi restaurant:CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

6. On the grounds of a Nairobi private school:NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

7. In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

8. The best! In a Tokyo bar:SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

9. Hotel, Japan:YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

10. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS,ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

11. Hotel, Zurich:BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM,IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

12. Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

13. A laundry in Rome:LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

14. Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

15. Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

16. The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

17. Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

18. In a Japanese cemetery:PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.